Feeling Fragile

Today has been a long, tiring, emotional type of day
One that has left me feeling a little on edge and fragile
Lots of reasons, the weather a factor, just to show that it’s not too heavy lol
But now I will ramble, get it out and put my thoughts here, cos that is what I do

This morning Elizabeth had her Occupational Therapy and Physio appointments
For whatever reason she gets really hyper in these sessions and just doesn’t sit or concentrate well
It’s makes the sessions hard and you know that she can do so much better but what can you do
Today her physio said that the next session would be Elizabeth’s last because she had got to the levels that we needed her to get to, which is wonderful, fantastic and I am so proud of her BUT…
It’s daunting, and scary, knowing that this is it
That we have reached a milestone
From here on in it is up to Elizabeth to do what she can to try
From here on in it is up to Elizabeth to develop skills that will help her face the future
From here on in it is up to Elizabeth to figure out how to do things the best way possible for herself
From here on it it is up to Elizabeth to maintain the level that she has reached and to aim for new goals

As a parent it’s hard to watch your child go through hard things
As a parent of a kid who has physical problems it’s hard to step out with the realisation there is nothing you can do to change the ‘problems’ all you can do is help them develop the tools to learn, grow and overcome hurdles that may come their way
As a parent you have people to help you to find the tools that will help your child and when the journey becomes just you again it is scary 
This year has been, for me, a lot about having my support base removed
It’s been about learning that there will be times when I have to battle through knowing there isn’t anyone to help me, anyone who can take the load and that when things come tumbling down I HAVE to get right back up again because the structure known as family won’t stand well if I don’t have a firm footing
This year, so far, has been a tough one and there has been zip I could do to change that. All I could do was change my thinking, my self focus and realise that what I have right in front of me is what matters most, yup my family

So this afternoon my thoughts, of Elizabeth, were put onto paper and this page, using the One Little Word prompt “Why”

I used scraps of pattern paper,

grabbed some of the gorgeous Such Sweet Tierney and Jenni Bowlin chipboard buttons

Some thickers, an Amy Butler butterfly

 

Some Pink Paislee chipboard shapes and a Library Card holder that Elizabeth gave me from school, it had a little note in it :) so that seemed an ideal addition to hold the journaling

 

Click on the journaling if it’s too small to read :)

Seems like forever since I have scrapped and it felt soooo good to get this one out, especially today when it was raw. To put these thoughts into words, words just for her. Was a needed vent and one that I hope she ‘hears’ in the future and that is one of the reasons I scrapbook.

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